Answer truthfully.

Who can you name first, the Federal Reserve Chairman or Brad Pitt's wife?

That's what I thought. And while you're at it, why don't you take some time to explain to me the inner-working of the Federal Reserve system, like the number of branches it has, who the board of governors are and the primary role of the Federal Reserve. Psst. By the way, it is NOT the job of the Federal Reserve to insure your money at the bank. That's the FDIC, who we will mention later.

Not many Americans get beyond answering Angelina Jolie, by the way. Which is deliberate in design in my opinion.

After all, if you ran an organization that was created by Congress but wasn't responsible for opening its' books for audit, would you be in a hurry to make the organization well-known? That's exactly what are friends at the Federal Reserve are suggesting, by the way, when they appeared earlier this week in front of the House Financial Services Committee. The committee is suggesting the Federal Reserve open the books for an audit conducted by the GAO (General Accounting Office.) After all, it is our money and we would like to see exactly how it's being spent from time to time. And yes, I agree with Barney Frank on this one. Representative Frank is proposing this legislation.

The prevailing mentality seems to question what the Fed is hiding and why they don't want to open the books up for review by the very body that created their existence. Our friends at the Fed maintain the position that theirs "is a politically neutral position" and any dabbling in the books would have an adverse impact on the economy.

Psst. Excuse me, Mr. Bernake? Take a look around. The economy already is in shambles and by the way, I pay your salary and am your boss. Remember that Obama guy who re-appointed you? Yeah, well Joe Taxpayer voted him in and it's his job to make sure you're doing things right.

My thoughts? It's deeper than that. And at the risk of getting too technical, I'm going to tie-in previously mentioned FDIC (Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation) and our friend Shiela Bair. You're going to be hearing a lot from Sheila in the coming months, so I'd get used to hearing her name. She runs the FDIC, which is an insurance company in place that allows us to feel safe and secure knowing our money will be paid back to us if our bank should fail. The banks fund the insurance policy through their membership, and the organization was created in response to the great depression rush on the banks. Naturally the thought process was to avoid another run on banks when depositors felt unsure about their bank's stability.

Guess what, folks? They are running out of money at the FDIC. Sheila and her group had a balance of just over $45 billion in June of 2008 according to Fortune Magazine. As of close of business June of this year, the balance clung to about $10 billion. Gulp.

And with more banks set to fail (to date the FDIC has allowed 94 banks to fail this year and 25 last year) the FDIC is getting precariously close to the edge of needing it's own bailout. By the way, the FDIC has a list of over 400 troubled banks that could go under at any minute.

Shazam! Flash back to our friend Ben and his merry men at the Federal Reserve Board. The Fed has extended an open line of credit for up to $100 billion to the FDIC in case of emergency (think of it like a Visa card for you and a credit line of $1 million.) Additionally, new legislation passed this year allows the FDIC to hit that line for up to $500 billion in an extreme emergency. This is the same Fed that gave bailout funds, er, I mean TARP funds to banks like PNC so that they could buyout ailing banks at a 5% rate. Banks like National City, who otherwise would have already imploded and further hit the FDIC wallet, further reducing that $10 billion balance. Odds are good there's another bank of significance on the brink (Cough Cough... Citi....)

So back to our beginning question and resulting debate: Why is the Federal Reserve really afraid of opening up its' books and allowing the General Accounting Office to take a peek under the hood? Could it really be to avoid political bias, or could it be more a reason of fear. Fear that there is no oil in the engine, the battery is dead, the brake lines have been cut, the transmission is leaking and oh yeah, by the way, it's out of windshield wiper fluid too. I propose the latter.

One final note to ponder, and then I'll let you go this fine morning. The Federal Reserve raises funds through auctions of Treasury Bills and notes, also known as DEBT. You issue debt when you don't have enough money to meet short-term expenses. Joe Taxpayer is footing the bill for this.

Let the banks implode. Get rid of the Federal Reserve and let the FDIC figure it's own way out of this one. Enough of the fiscal parenting for lousy monetary policies. Let's get back to basics and provide budgets that are real and attainable and a government that is there to merely implement the will of the people.

I can't believe I actually agree with Barney Frank!

Banking on our uncertainty

In an story that caught about a ten second blurb this week on Friday morning, the Federal Reserve is working on a plan to not only monitor pay compensation but also one that will allow the Fed to adjust or change the pay practices at Wall Street financial firms. Not just firms that accepted bailout funds, but any financial firm that the Fed deems necessary based upon the firm's excessive risk-taking practices. Also note that the language does not simply limit the pay for executives at the firm. It has the right to limit the pay to anyone that works at the firm according to a Wall Street Journal report.

Excuse me, comrade?

Where does one begin in an attempt to shoot holes in this idea?

Perhaps the easiest target is the Federal Reserve itself. You know the group, right? The same group that sets interest rates in order to manipulate the economy, avoiding recessions, inflation, speculative practices, steering the U.S. to continued economic prosperity and ensure that banks continue to lend to businesses and indivuals that deserve a loan. How's that working so far, Mr. Bernake?

Maybe it's better to look at the Fed based upon the past. The same history that gave former Treasury Secretary Hank Paulson a blank check to bailout Wall Street firms (of which I was critical, I might add.) The same history that kept interest rates artificially low for too long in order to allow the gluttonous behavior to continue. The same history that took budget surpluses at the end of the 1990's to a whopping $11 trillion debt. Again I ask, how's that working?

Consider the impact of keeping overnight rates at 0% (not a typo) since December of last year and no sign that they are going up anytime soon, and then asking a banker to not take some risk with 'free' money. Oh yeah, while you're at, throw in the fact that the Fed is asking banks to make loans to get the economy rolling.

Oh, maybe I'm being too harsh.

Surely there's some good, right?

Ah yes, the same Federal Reserve that has partnered with ACORN since 1977 to enforce bank compliance with the Community Reinvestment Act. In mortgage land, CRA loans (as they are called) are also known as 'subprime' mortgage loans to folks that generally would not qualify for a home based upon credit or ability to repay. How's that working?

To be fair, I hate the banks. Ask any of my students, and they will tell you the adjectives I use to describe most bankers are "lazy, fat and boring. And lazy. Did I mention lazy?"

But to be true to my roots, I also believe in capitalism, entrepreneurial spirit and the corporate structure. If a publicly traded bank like, oh I dunno, Bank of America, wants to make loans it thinks will perform and reward shareholders, shouldn't they be allowed to do that? After all, it's their job to maximize shareholder wealth - not anyone else's wealth. SHAREHOLDER wealth. If the shareholders think the CEO and board are doing a lousy job by taking too much risk with too little potential return, they can (and often will) fire the CEO and replace the board.

Similarly, if the U.S. government wants to get into the banking business, they have two ready-made platforms to execute that plan while remaining outside the circle of overseeing pay for private firms. Maybe the names Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac ring a bell in your head. If the Fed wants to be in banking, turn Fannie and her brother Freddie into large national banks that are required to adhere to strict compensation, risk and corporate management guidelines. Make them play by the same liquidity rules as the other banks and let all of the banks duke it out. Guess who will win, comrades? Yep. You, me and cousin Vinny due to increased competition and a level playing field.

What's next? Will the Fed determine it's their job to monitor and adjust the pay for professional athletes? Does Big Ben really deserve $110 million to throw a football? After all, he's taking a LOT of risk going out there against 330 pound men eager to rip him to shreds. Maybe they will think that doctors should only earn "X" per year regardless of their specialty, or that accountants cannot earn more than "Y." The system is already in place around the country in the form of government pay scales and in many instances labor-contracts, which primarily exist between governments and their employees, the exceptions being large unions like the auto-workers, mine workers, steel workers, etc.

Farfetched? We already have a minimum wage. Doesn't it stand to reason there could be a maximum wage? And while we are accustom to having a minimum wage to assist those with few valuable skills and protect workers from abuse, how does it feel knowing the shoe could be on the other foot, limiting your skills and placing a maximum value on what you have to offer? It's not as crazy as it sounds, folks. And it's happening and a rapid pace.

I'm not in the predicting business, but here's one for ya.

There are going to be three very large national banks in the next three to five years that are entirely government run. Their names are Bank of American, Chase and Citigroup. They will be merged and monitored by Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, who will report directly to the Federal Reserve Board. The Federal Reserve Board is going to become a fourth branch of government.

Hold onto your wallet and get out your voter card to make sure it's still either Republican, Democrat, Independent and not Socialist or Communist.